i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
