my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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