They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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