i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Still dying that you shit outside
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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