you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
