He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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