How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
