I think I am morally bankrupt
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize