Its about making memories worth repressing
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize