So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize