Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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