do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
