is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
