Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
