So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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