i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
