Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize