There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
