is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
