it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize