I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
