Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize