I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
