my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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