i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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