I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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