Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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