I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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