I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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