why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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