you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize