I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
