I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
