Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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