so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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