Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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