D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
