If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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