How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
