did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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