I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to stick my p in your. b.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
