we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
