READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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