we have pet lesbian snakes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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