I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm both gender and math confused
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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