sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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