You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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