Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
