you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
