I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
