Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
