she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
