She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
