my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize