you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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