I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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