His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
